Love to Lie
by VampHime
Summary: Drabble 5. "Ne, Sakura-chan, when do you think Sasuke's gonna ask you out?" In which Tenten hates her friends, Sakura's running and Ino does what she does best. AU, OOC.
1. Of Blind Dates & Blown Speakers

Random Drabble  
There will be a second part (:

* * *

…

Walk, walk

Fashion baby,

Work it, drive that bitch cuh-razy.

…

* * *

"Okay, forehead, what the hell are you doing?"

"I throw my hands up in the air sometimes-"

"Forehead-"

"Saying hey oh, gotta let goo-"

"FOREHEAD TAKE OFF THE DAMN HEADPHONES AND LISTEN TO ME, I'M TALKING TO YOU."

Sakura blinked slowly and pulled out her iPod headphones.

"Oh sure, the great Princess Piglet is finally gonna grace me with her attention so I should pause my life to accommodate her?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Ino said without the slightest trace of irony.

Sakura rolled her jade green eyes at her supposed best friend and gripped the edge of the ledge to sit next to Ino.

"What's up, Pig?"

"Um, yeah," Ino fidgeted absently with the hem of her sweater, "Actually..."

Oh, Ino's fidgeting, not a good sign, Sakura thought, she NEVER fidgets.

Sakura sighed, "What'd you do this time, pig?"

"It's not so much me doing something as to me NOT doing something..."

"Do I even want to know?"

"No."

- insert sigh- "Lay it on me."

* * *

"No, just, no."

"Come _on_."

"I _will_ shoot you if you touch me, don't think I won't."

"Sakura-"

"I know where you sleep, Yamanaka."

"You're like, the _greatest_ friend in the history of friends."

"I know."

"SAKURA."

"No."

"It's just an itsy bitsy favour, you won't even have to see him again after."

"I refuse to go on a blind double date with you and your latest man meat."

"Okay, fine then forehead girl, I feel the love." Ino huffed and turned her back on the pinkette, dramatically shaking her long blonde ponytail over her shoulder.

"Good for you," Sakura shrugged and dug around the bottom of her bag for her iPod.

"Good for me indeed seeing as I have this huge pile of blackmail on you in my closet at home."

Sakura began questioning her mental state when she had agreed to befriending the blue eyed seventeen year old monster gloating next to her.

"Don't look so smug," Sakura rubbed her hands over her face and sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in five minutes, "Fine. I'll do it. But not for you, NEVER FOR YOU AGAIN."

"You know you love me."

"Love is a relatively subjective term."

"Oh yeah, almost forgot, your date is kinda supposed to be Uchiha…"

Sakura's fist tightened around her green nano and she turned her head to glare heatedly at the blonde.

"I am going to kill you."

"Love you too, forehead."

* * *

RANDOM DANCINGG.

Review? -


	2. Of Fairy tales

Drabble 2

**You guys are being _mean_. I've got 60+ hits and not _one_ review.  
Other authors give you cookies, I'll give you the next chapter.**

Fairytaless.

**Prompt: "Really, at this rate we'll have to go around kissing frogs."**

* * *

_**...**_

_baby there's a **shark** in the _**water**_._

_there's **something** underneath my _**legs_._**

**_..._**

"Um, Ino, what're you doing?" Sakura bent over Ino's flailing form hesitantly. Ino sat up and tried to wave Sakura away.

"Shoo!" Ino wailed, "I'm pretending to drown so some hot guy will come and give me mouth to mouth."

Sakura could feel a sweat drop welling on her temple.

"Ino, we're in the middle of the village. The nearest body of water is possibly my fish tank."

Ino glared.

"That's not the _point_, forehead."

"Um, okay. But just to let you know, that looked less like you were drowning and more like you were having a seizure."

"Sakura, do the world a favour and _go die_."

"You know what? Forget it."

"Seriously though, forehead," Ino stood up and looked around despairingly, "At this rate we're going to have to go around kissing frogs."

"They'll _love_ your hair."

"What?"

"You have two dead flies in your hair."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAA-YIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

* * *

Don't even ask, okay?

Read & Review. Whatever.

Make my day and inspire me.


	3. Of Baking, Driving & Homicidal Karate

**Prompt: CAKE. Karin and Sakura. Hinata's temper.**

Cake

...

_**Passions** taking over _skies

_Leaving** sand **behind for them to _choke _on_

_And they try to speak **negatively** about _us

_But **they** can't say another _word_._

...

* * *

"No, _no_."

"Oh, come _on_, why is it that every time I get _near_ to anyone of you people, you all freak out on me?"

"Because, you're psychotic, clearly you spend too much time with Ino."

"I'm taking offense to that, Karin."

"You should."

"Anyways, so I had a plan…"

"I am _not_ Hinata and so I don't give a damn about your plans."

"I will shoot you."

"Love you too, hun."

"Blah blah blah, where's the cake batter?"

"Over there," Karin stretched onto the tips of yellow polished toes, "Just get the eggs out of the fridge and let's get this how on the road."

"I'm worried," Sakura tied her so-so pale red hair back into a ponytail.

"And why would that be?"

"Just thinking about letting you near a stove… I can see the flames around the house already, flames the colour of your hair…"

"SHUT UP AND GET THE DAMN EGGS."

* * *

"Um, Ino… where are you taking me?"

"Don't worry, Hinata, it's not like I'm going to _hurt_ you or anything."

"…I'm scared." Hinata fisted her hands in the material of her black mini.

"Don't be!" Ino's long, blonde hair flew behind her as she took down the top of her convertible.

"Um, then would you mind slowing down?"

"I _am_ slow."

"You're pushing 120 mph and the speed limit is 80."

"Speed limit shmeed kimit, _relax_."

"Oh no, INO TURN AROUND." Hinata's violet eyes dilated with fear.

"What? OH _HELL_ NO." Ino floored it.

* * *

"Hi-yah!" Tenten back kicked her instructor and he laughed.

"Come on, Tenten, you can kick harder than that." Her karate instructor teased.

"HI-YAH." He flew into the wall

"…"

"…Sensei?"

"…"

"OHMYGOD I THINK I KILLED HIM."

"…"

"-whistles- Wasn't me…"

* * *

"Ooh, that smells so good!" Karin pulled the cake out of the oven.

"Yum, wanna invite the others over?"

"No. Ino's gonna be a pig and eat it all for herself and Tenten will probably blow up my house. _No thank you._"

"Oh, come on Karin."

"Fine, but then we'll have to make some brownies too and hide them at the back of the fridge so Ino doesn't eat _everything_."

Sakura shrugged and bent under the counter for brownie mix, "Works for me."

* * *

"Oh," Hinata gasped, "my heart- I think it stopped beating."

"BAHAHAHA, that was so fun!" Ino threw back her head and pulled over to the side of the road, "Hey, are you okay?"

"W-WHAT IS W-WRONG WITH Y-YOU, INO? YOU C-COULD HAVE GOTTEN US K-KILLED!" Hinata's face was red and she was beginning to feel lightheaded.

"Um, Hinata? Are you okay? I'm so, so, _so _SORRY."

"Y-You better be," Hinata took deep breaths to stop herself from fainting, "P-Please just take me home, Ino?"

"Uh- hold that thought." Ino slid open her Treo.

**Saki: HEY GUESS WHUT? WE HAS CAKIEE. KARIN'S HOUSE. NAO.**

**GlamourGirl: BE READY BITCHES.**

"Uh, how about I make it up to you?" Ino smiled at Hinata innocently, "Karin just baked a cake, and you know how hers taste when she makes them with She-of-the-big-Forehead."

"Oh," Hinata's eyes lit up, "I love Sakura and Karin's baking."

"Then it's settled," Ino grinned maniacally and gunned the engine, spinning them in an illegal U-turn and swerving them through traffic, "LET'S GO GET SOME CAKE."

* * *

**KittyKarin: CAKE. MY PLACE, PRONTO.**

Tenten flipped open her Sidekick then smirked.

**TenGuns: WOOT.**

Now, as long as no body found the body, it's _all good_.

* * *

**LOL okay I don't know what this even is but can I just?**

**I was BORED, and getting NO REVIEWS. LAME.**

**So, okay, I got _one_. Out of 100+ hits.**

**MEAN.**


	4. Of Kittens and Sasuke and Homosexuality

**To Despicable Me, and kittens, and **_**long**_** walks, and nothing.**

_Cut my life into _peaches_, this is my last fruit tart._

**

* * *

**

"Oh," Sakura breathed.

"My," Tenten took a hesitant step forward.

"GOD~" Ino squealed.

Sakura grabbed the furry ball off the ground and nuzzled it.

"It's so fluffy I could _die_." Ino hopped up and down excitedly.

"Ino, you're scaring it," Tenten was the first to recover.

"It's mine," Sakura decided.

Ino raised an eyebrow at her frenemy, "And by mine, you mean _mine_, right?"

"Guys-"

"No, by mine I mean _you can't have it_," Sakura turned, grabbed the abandoned Hinata's hand and began pulling her after her down the road.

"_Forehead_!

"_MINEEEE_."

"That bitch," Ino snarled and ran after them.

"…You know, I never realized it before but they're actually pretty psychotic," Tenten thought aloud and stretched, "Oh well, at least they're all running in the right direction."

* * *

"S-Sakura," Hinata panted, trying to keep up with Sakura's frantic pace. She wasn't made for this; she was an artist not an athlete. This was the opposite for track and soccer star Sakura.

"Almost there, Hinata, sorry for dragging you along." Sakura turned to her apologetically, but she was in her element.

"_Meow_." And then the kitten resurfaced and turned her into mush.

"Awwww," Sakura picked up her pace. Ino. Would. Not. Get. This. Cat.

* * *

'Kitty dresses and parties and- ohmygosh was there kitty MAKEUP?' Ino kept up this mantra in her head as she ran after the two. She wasn't Captain of the cheer squad and tennis star for nothing.

Ino knew that if there was kitty makeup she _would_ find it. That. Kitty. Would. Be. Hers.

* * *

Then there was Tenten who could easily have caught up by now but was staying behind to watch the drama unfold. Good old Sakura and Ino, catfights between those two were worth her Karate, kick boxing and basketball training.

'_**Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort,'**_

Tenten pulled her Sidekick out oh her pocket and smirked, she reserved that ringtone for one person, "HAI HYUUGA, HAVE YOU FINALLY ACCEPTED YOUR HOMOSEXUALITY AND COME TO TAKE UP MY OFFER OF BEING GAY BEST FRIEND #2?" Tenten screamed into her phone without pausing. Gay best friend #1 was already taken by Kiba whom was so flamboyantly gay you could tell from miles away.

Ino was starting to gain on the pinkette because Hinata was running out of steam. Oh and look- there's the park…

Tenten could picture the vein in his temple throbbing and him clutching the phone in a death grip with one hand and pulling at his long -_girlybutsopretty-_ hair with the other.

"_**Shut up Tenten."**_

"Is that a _no_?" she loved pissing him off.

"_**That is a **_**stop questioning my sexuality**_**."**_

"Whatever floats your boat."

She practically heard him grinding his teeth together, it was all she could do to stop herself from giggling, because if she giggled she'd sound mindless and Tenten didn't _do _mindless. She was 130% awesomesauce.

"_**You're going to make me forget what I called about."**_

"Then say it, or are you calling to take me up on my '_other offer?''_"

Tenten had the pleasure of hearing him choke and sputter on the other end of the line.

"_**Tenten, I thought we had agreed that you'd **_**never **_**speak of that again."**_ His voice was noticeably higher than it was ten seconds before.

"Hmm," Tenten smirked just as Ino finally caught up and poor Hinata collapsed on the grass, "Guess it slipped my memory. Oops."

* * *

"MUAHAHAHA, now the kitten shall be _mine_."

"_Neverrrr_," Sakura clutched the black ball of fur closer to her chest and backed away from the blonde slowly.

"Come on, Saki, just hand over the feline and no one gets hurt."

"Come any closer and someone _will_."

_Jeez_, Hinata thought, _all this drama over a-_

"_Kuro_," a voice called from over Sakura's shoulder.

The girls all turned to the source and Sakura's jaw dropped. There staring inquisitively at the girls was Sasuke Uchiha a.k.a. the sexiest guy she knew.

"S-Sasuke?"

"Hm? Oh it's you three. I see you found my cat."

"_Your_ cat?"

"Yeah, Kuro." Aforementioned cat looks out from the fold of Sakura's arms at the sound of Sasuke's voice and mewls softly, jumping over towards her master.

Sakura and Ino deflated.

"Thanks," Sasuke said to Sakura, smirked slightly and walked away with his cat trailing behind him.

Sakura and Ino sighed as Tenten walked up to them smirking and linked arms with the Hyuuga heiress.

"…So who wants some pizza?"

Kuro (adj.) (n.)- Black For the people that don't put random Japanese words in their writing...

**I make Tenten so evil... :D NejiTen is just so much win though...**

**Can we pretend that at least a little of all this stuff I write makes a little sense? I could really use a review right now, review right now…**

**No, I'm not even kidding, please review, I want know if this is even worth writing.**


	5. Of Running and COD

.

[tongue like _electric_, eyes like a child]

**Say** _**you** don't_ want it

Say **you** _**don't** want it_

_.  
_

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto I would not be writing this crap, you see...**

To music, Emma Watson, convertibles, shopping, people and the fact that I need to go to sleep before more crap like this is born, yeah?

* * *

"So…" Ino yawned and rolled over.

"Soo…?" Sakura leaned back on the couch.

Ino sighed. "S-"

"If you say 'so' one more time I'm going to kick you."

"UGH, forehead, I'm _bored_."

"When are you _not_ bored? Just go out and make friends with random people like you always do."

"COME WITH ME."

"How about no?"

"You know what? I DON'T NEED YOU. I have _Karin_."

"She'll kick your ass if you wake her up, bimbo." Sakura rolled her eyes.

Ino glared, "I'll kick yours if you don't follow me downtown, freak."

"_I'm _the freak?"

"Well seeing as you're the one with pink hair-"

"I CAN'T HELP GENETICS YOU-"

'_**You make me feel like I'm livin' a Teenage Dream, the way you turn me on-'**_

"ASNIONAML; SHUT UP, MY PHONE'S RINGING- _Hello_~?"

_"__Hey creeper, I'm up."_

"YES. Pick me up?"

_"__Where art thou?"_

"Saki's"

_"__Be there in ten."_

Ino turned to the pinkette and smirked, "HA. Karin's coming to pick me up."

Sakura stood and stretched, "Have fun with that, hoe bag."

"Whatever you say, slore."

Sakura scowled.

**Ramenman: SAKURA-CHAN! :D**

Sakura smiled.

**Saki: Hey Naruto, what's up?**

**Ramenman: NM, hey, can you come over? Sasuke's here and we're bored and Hinata's on her way and we wanted an even number to play Halo and-**

**Saki: I'll be over in 5 (:**

Sakura looked up at Ino who was hunched over on the couch and smirked, she could milk this, "I have a date with Sasuke, gotta go."

Ino nodded absently, scrolling through her emails on her Treo.

Sakura shrugged and headed for the door.

"WAIT WHUT? A DATE WITH WHO? SAKURA COME BACK HERE-"

Sakura slammed the door and ran.

* * *

Sometimes Tenten _really _hated her friends.

**Saki: SORRY! Can't talk, uber busy. BAI~!**

And

**GlamourGirl: ttyl, Ten, we're shoppingg.**

She glared at her Sidekick.

Those bitches. They better not forget her birthday tomorrow.

* * *

Ino ran out of Sakura's house and slammed the door.

Karin shoved her glasses back up her nose and sneered, "Get in loser, we're going shopping."

Ino rolled her eyes and jumped into the cherry red convertible.

"Drive, hoe biscuit."

Karin floored it.

* * *

"Sakura-chan!"

"Hey Naruto, is Hinata here yet?"

"Yup," Naruto's goofy smile turned dreamy and Sakura had to shove past him to get in. She was happy those two had gotten together, they had it _bad_ for each other.

"And Sasuke-kun is here?"

"Yeah, in the den playing COD. Ne, Sakura-chan, when do you think he's going to ask you out?"

Sakura's face turned as pink as her hair and she practically flew down the stairs to get away from the question, "Never."

* * *

For all the complete non-gamers out there COD is Call of Duty. [Preferably 4]

**I'm going to continue this.**

Really. Eventually… maybe.

Anyways, this is my un-edited 2a.m. in the morning writing. Just so you can see the crap I'm capable of. As you can see I lost inspiration half way through.

And because I haz not been getting ze reviews. ):

Anways, I'll probably delete this and write a new chapter tomorrow, for now, enjoy~! [or puke, whatever]

Review ?


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